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How to Have Relaxing Mind in Everyday Life

On Day 5 I’m sitting out on the terrace of my bungalow feeling unbelievably fortunate. Waves crash below, and the sea breeze tickles my face. And then my gorgeous partner looks up at me, the sun setting over the sea behind him, and announces an idea for a new article.

“How about you write one called ‘how to relax?'”

Ouch.

Where on earth could he have gotten this absurd idea?! I’ve taken to this island’s relaxation like an iguana takes to its favorite iguana thing. Could it be when I insisted we wake up at 7:45 a.m. to secure the optimal beach spot? Or later on, when I hoarded any and all available beach chairs surrounding our own so as to maintain shade throughout the day? Surely I exhibited incredible mindfulness when I budgeted to the second for our arrival to last night’s dinner, including taking a test route earlier on in the day.

Or…maybe he has a point. On a scale from 1 to 10, with 10 being the world’s worst relaxer, I’m an 11. But our weeklong window into heaven has given…

How to Instantly Calm Yourself in Stressful Situations

By Jonathan allen

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ~Victor Frankl

There’s a big lie we tell ourselves during stressful times.

It keeps us feeling lost, afraid, and unloved, like we’re being picked up and carried away helplessly by a storm.

Our heads can fill with scary images, words, and stories about the cause and who is to blame for our unwanted pain.

Sound familiar? If it does, you’re not alone. You’re normal. This is how humans biologically respond to stress.

So what’s the big lie?

The big lie is that we have no control over our stress response. Actually, we do. A lot of control.

I’ve struggled the hard way through my fair share of troubling times. I’ve experienced money and job issues, battled with health, and been pushed in challenging relationships.

But that’s not the worst part. The worst part is I grew up a highly sensitive person, who would internally react to almost …

5 Tips for Recovering from Emotional Pain

By Dr. Mercola

Emotional pain often exacts a greater toll on your quality of life than physical pain. The stress and negative emotions associated with any trying event can even lead to physical pain and disease.

In fact, emotional stress is linked to health problems including chronic inflammation, lowered immune function, increased blood pressure, altered brain chemistry, increased tumor growth and more.

Of course, emotional pain can be so severe that it interferes with your ability to enjoy life and, in extreme cases, may even make you question whether your life is worth living.

5 Tips for Healing Emotional Pain

As the featured article reported, Guy Winch, author of Emotional First Aid: Practical Strategies for Treating Failure, Rejection, Guilt and Other Everyday Psychological Injuries, recently shared five tips for healing your emotional pain.

1. Let Go of Rejection


Rejection actually activates the same pathways in your brain as physical pain, which is one reason why it hurts so much. Th…

The Moral Logic of Survivor Guilt

Nancy Sherman Ph.D.Stoic Warrior

The Moral Logic of Survivor Guilt

If there is one thing we have learned from returning war veterans

Posted Jul 20, 2011

Source:

If there is one thing we have learned from returning war veterans - especially those of the last decade - it's that the emotional reality of the soldier at home is often at odds with that of the civilian public they left behind. And while friends and families of returning service members may be experiencing gratefulness or relief this summer, many of those they've welcomed home are likely struggling with other emotions.

High on that list of emotions is guilt. Soldiers often carry this burden home-- survivor guiltbeing perhaps the kind most familiar to us. In war, standing here rather than there can save your life but cost a buddy his. It's flukish luck, but you feel responsible. The guilt begins an endless loop of counterfactuals-thoughts that you could have or should have done otherwise, though in fact you did nothing w…

The Psychology of Reality-Based Self Defense

You have seen the advertising headlines. They prey upon the nagging fear that maybe you and your family will be violently attacked by a stranger “on the street.” They promise you life-saving “secrets” that will give any middle-aged business traveler the defensive acumen of an elite military operator. All contained in a set of DVDs. This has become the marketing platform for many of the so-called “Reality-Based” martial arts programs. Can the promises live up to the hype? Here are a couple of ideas to consider: Learning to defend yourself requires training for self-defense: This may seem like the ultimate obvious point, but it carries two important implications. First, effective self-defense preparation requires actual physical practice – quite often, a lot of practice – to assure proper execution of even a couple of basic maneuvers. Based on what is known about human performance and motor skill learning, it would be nearly impossible for someone simply to read about a technique in a b…

4 Most Effective Psychology Tips To Improve Your Life And Make People Like You

The 4 best tricks I learned while studying psychology in college and being around personal development in my free time are: 1. If you want others to open up to you or like you, make them the most important thing in the world. In psychology this is referred to as “Active Listening.” All you need to do is give your entire attention to them when they talk. There are various ways you can implement this: Think that you have to give an hour-long presentation on what they talked about the next day.Act like they have something to share that will give you a million dollars.Listen like you would if you were talking to your hero or god. Doing so will make sure you pay full attention to what they say. The difference is minute in your eyes, but the subconscious effect it has is massive! People will feel it and will love to talk to you, because you make them feel like they matter. Which is one of the most sought after feelings in the world. Try going an entire day paying full attention to everyone …

A Focus on Self-Improvement

Educators often say that practice makes perfect. But what should that practice look like? Psychological research reveals that not all practice is equally useful. Mindless repetition is an inefficient way to improve any skill, and short sessions of high-quality, deliberate practice matter much more than a larger quantity of such repetition. In his recent book Peak, Anders Ericsson describes the principles of deliberate practice that research has found to be effective in improving people’s skill in fields ranging from surgery to playing the violin. How can teachers use deliberate practice to improve what they do every day in the classroom? Drawing on Ericsson’s principles and research applying practice-based approaches to teacher education, Deans for Impact, an organization composed of leaders of programs that prepare new teachers, recently produced Practice with Purpose, a report exploring the application of deliberate practice to teaching. We identify five essential principles of imp…

25 Most Effective Actions to Boost Your Self-Confidence

BY LEO BABAUTA One of the things that held me back from pursuing my dreams for many years was fear of failure … and the lack of self-confidence that I needed to overcome that fear. It’s something we all face, to some degree, I think. The key question: how do you overcome that fear? By working on your self-confidence and self-esteem. Without really thinking of it in those terms, that’s what I’ve been doing over the years, and that’s what helped me finally overcome my fears, and finally pursue my dreams. I still have those fears, undoubtedly. But now I know that I can beat them, that I can break through that wall of fear and come out on the other side. I’ve done it many times now, and that success will fuel further success. This post was inspired by reader Nick from Finland, who asked for an article about self-worth and self-confidence: Many of the things you propose make people feel better about themselves and actually help building self-confidence. However, I would be interested on re…

Introverts: 4 Ways to Be Yourself and Be a Charismatic Leader

Nina Zipkin Staff Writer. Covers media, tech, startups, culture and workplace trends. Shy, retiring, socially inept -- these are some of the stereotypes that plague introverts. If you are looking to promote someone in your office, don't let a reserved demeanor take someone out of the running. And if you are a card-carrying introvert who has a time limit for big parties or is drained by all-day conferences, you are still entirely capable of being a charismatic leader. "Introverts need to do two things to become charismatic: make people feel liked and show them your power," says Carrie Keating, a professor of psychology at Colgate University. "Charisma is just that balance between inviting us in close and letting us feel your power by standing apart. Many introverts are halfway there." Keating notes that a great way for introverts to get out of their own heads and work on being more expressive or comfortable in crowds is to look into acting classes or improv grou…

Is It Normal Anxiety or Do I Have Postpartum Depression?

Pregnancy is filled with many emotions and sensations.  Not only are our bodies changing, there are wishes, hopes, plans and expectations that bombard us both from the inside and outside. Typically during pregnancy, appetite increases, there’s an eager anticipation of the new life to come, and sleep is good(except for the usual physical adjustments).  Normal doubts and worries can be sprinkled throughout the pregnancy experience, but they shouldn’t dominate our days or nights. When you ask yourself, “Do I emotionally feel like ‘me’ most of the day?,” “Am I able to sleep at night?,” “Am I generally looking forward to the baby coming?,” and “Am I feeling hungry?,” the answer should be “Yes.” If not, seek out a specialized health care practitioner who can help determine what’s happening.  Depression and anxiety affect just as many pregnant women as new mothers, and can happen to the strongest, most intelligent and loving moms. Every trimester you should either be given a formal screenin…

How To Develop Industrious Traits

While it is generally accepted that work must occur in order for an individual to receive the income necessary to support himself in life, few people would argue the point that work is not always easy or enjoyable.  In fact, many individuals would readily admit that their jobs are difficult, challenging and demanding on a regular basis.  However, if you ask these same individuals whether they are happy with their jobs, many will state that they are–largely because the challenges they have to work through are actually fun to overcome. As a general rule, people are usually happier when they have something to do.  One can make an experiment of this and simply sit staring at the clock for five minutes, or spend five minutes cleaning.  The five minutes spent in action will often pass more quickly and produce a sense of satisfaction.  An individual who is not industrious is often bored and unhappy in general, and may even complain that their life is pointless and empty.  The industrious man…

52 Easy Yet Highly Effective Ways to Motivate Yourself

If you can't seem to find yourself motivated because of several reasons, take a deep breath and try to motivate yourself with these simple yet effective tips:1.Close your eyes, and visualize yourself reaching your goals.2.Try something new today.3.Take a walk in a park, and let nature reset your mind.4.Make a to-do list. You'll feel encouraged as you cross off items.5.Get more sleep. Sleep deprivation could be making you less motivated.6.Drink coffee for a quick jolt.7.Start exercising, and you'll feel like yourself8.Take a small step. You don't have to immediately immerse yourself in the project and see it until completion right away. Just make baby steps, and take it one day at a time.9.Wake yourself up from your slump with a cold shower.10.Have a reward system, so you'll have something to look forward to.11.When doing a task you don't want to do, play energizing music to help you get through it.12.Get the hard stuff done first thing in the morning. Once you&…